Q. What Is Discernment?

A. Discernment is a part of every person's life, every day. We "discern" what schools to attend, what kind of car to buy, whether to marry and have children, and so on. When deciding whether to marry, join a Religious Community, or remain single, we look into ourselves and we look to God. God speaks to us and guides us through prayer, Scripture, nature, and the other people and events of our lives. This process of discovering God's will for our lives is called discernment. When discerning God's will, it is important to remember that His goal is the same as ours—our happiness.

Q. Which Life Choice Is for Me?

A. Before considering a life choice, we must truly know ourselves—what are our likes, our dislikes, our fears, dreams, hopes, interests, abilities, and our limitations? More important than the answer to these questions is accepting who we are. In our search of ourselves, we must accept what we find.

Q. Is God Calling Me?

A. Yes, God is calling you. But He calls different people for different things. His purpose is not the same for everyone. Answering the question, "How do I know where God is calling me?" is difficult and will take time—all the most important questions and decisions of our lives do. Deciding whether or not God is calling us to marriage or to a life in a religious Community will take some time, but a spiritual director can be most helpful in discerning.

Q. What About Prayer?

A. It will help to develop a life of prayer, not just in times of crisis, but regularly. No relationship develops between persons unless they listen to each other. We must learn to listen to the Lord in prayer and not merely ask Him to listen to us. We have to spend time with Him, be honest with Him, and occasionally be willing to wait on Him. Experimenting with various forms of prayer will help us find the best way to express our relationship with God.

Look for traces of the Lord in nature, in circumstances of our lives, in other people. He is active in all. The better we get to know Him, the more we will be able to perceive His activity.

Q. How Do I Decide?

A. As we become more in touch with ourselves and with God, we can begin gathering facts about our decision. The following can help you in the discernment process:

• Write down the pros and cons of all of your alternatives
  
• Consider what effects each might have in 5 or 10 years
  
• Imagine being married with children or living in a religious Community—can you see yourself?
  
• Talk to married and single people, priests, siblings, and to people in other careers
  
• Visit religious houses as well as the workplace of other careers you are considering
  
• Try to envision life 10 years from now as a religious and as a spouse with a family— which seems to fit?

During this time, we must be particularly attentive to our feelings. If we've been open and honest with ourselves and with God, we can trust our feelings. Choose what appears to be the best fit… and what appears to be God's will.

Q. Have I Made the Right Decision?

A. After making our decision, we spend time in prayer for an extended period to see if the decision still seems right. If it is, there should be a continuation of inner peace and satisfaction.

This period of confirmation should go on for several weeks or more, to be sure that the peace we feel is true tranquility and not simply the relief that follows a difficult decision. It also helps to share our decision with our spiritual director or someone else with whom we've worked throughout the process.

Q. Which Scriptures can help me?

A. There are many passages in the Scriptures that will help with your discernment process:

Old Testament

Abraham, Gen. 12:1-4
Moses, Ex. 3:1-14
Esther, Est. 4:14-25
Samuel, Sam. 3:3-10
Jeremiah, Jer. 1:4-8

New Testament

Christ's vocation, John 10:10-18
Mary's response, Luke 1:26-38
Night in prayer, Luke 6:12-15
Mary Magdalene's call, John 20:15-21
Rich young man, Luke 18:15-30
The apostles, Matthew 4:18-22

For more information regarding vocations, please contact:

Sr. Mary Beth Kubera, DC
Vocation Coordinator,
Mater Dei Provincialate
9404 New Harmony Road
Evansville, IN 47720-8912
(812) 963-7556
email: smb@doc-ecp.org